This Week I am Tired
So far, I don’t like 2016.
Work has been hellish, I’m always exhausted, and my personal hero died.
There are a lot of things I’d like to say about the passing of David Bowie, but as much as I want to talk about what a catalyst for my life he was (and still is, even if he’s gone back into space), it feels almost too personal.
And also, honestly, it hurts too much.
That might sound stupid to some, considering I never knew him personally, but those people can piss off because you don’t need to know someone for them to touch your life. If you’re inspired by a painting or sculpture, you don’t need to know the name of the artist for them to have reached you.
Anyway, I’ve been trying to look ahead and focus on the good because so much of right now has been less than good.
The biggest focus is, as always, what else I want to try to get done before I turn 30. Perhaps this has been on my mind in particular this week because of the loss of Bowie and today’s loss of the great Alan Rickman.
Both men were so talented and they lived SO MUCH in such a relatively brief span of time…that’s what I’m trying to do. I want to fit as much into my life as I can so that no matter what age I shuffle off this mortal coil (although, let’s face it, I’m more likely to stumble off this mortal coil), people can say “she sure LIVED her life”.
So, that leads me to what I want to try to do this year.
I want adventure.
I want weird.
I want to conquer my fears.
I want to stay within a reasonable budget.
Ok, so that last one isn’t particularly inspiring, but it’s true. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’M FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE, BITCHES!
What kind of stuff do I want to conquer?
So far, here’s what I’m thinking:
- Dog Sledding: I like dogs, I like getting comfortabley dragged behind things, and I desire to be the most Canadian I can be. So this seems like a natural desire.
- Axe Throwing: I like pointy things, I like throwing things, and I have enough pent up anger that I feel like this would be therapeutic. Also, they let you bring your own snacks.
- Zip Lining: I didn’t get to it in 2015 but I still want to try this. Sure I’m not a huge fan of heights but if I can go in a hot air balloon and jump out of an airplane, surely I can manage a little Mission Impossible time?
- Falconry: In general, I don’t trust birds, but I like birds of prey. They know what they’re about and I respect that. Also, this would be a useful skill for…reasons.
- Sailing: I’ve never been sailing but my Grampa used to do it all the time and I’ve always wanted to go.
- Sewing Classes: I can quilt and do minor repairs, but I’d like to get fancier.
- Go Somewhere New: Yes, this is vague, but so is the fate of the Canadian Dollar right now.
So far, that’s all I can think of but I’m sure more will come to me.
I mean, I hope.
I think my favourite thing about this whole 30 Before 30 project is that it ISN’T an itemized list of stuff for me to do, it’s just a goal I have to accomplish that forces me to constantly be on the lookout for new and interesting things.
Sometimes that can be a little bit of pressure.
A lot of the time it’s kind of a relief.
Well, I’m afraid that’s all I have to say this week. I know it’s a short blog and kind of rambling, but note what I said earlier about being exhausted.
I am tired and there is still much to do.
Much more to do.
Posted on January 15, 2016, in Random Life Stuff, Serious Life Stuff, The BIG 30 Project and tagged 30 years old, afraid, anxiety, appreciate what you have, creativity, David Bowie, exhausted, Fear, Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, life is scary. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.