The World Owes You Nothing
I often joke that I am secretly an old person disguised as a young person.
I use this as an explanation for why I’m so frustrated by things.
I’m a pretty logically minded person, so I get frustrated a lot. Life isn’t logical. It’s a huge mess and chaotic and a lot of the time you just have to roll with the punches.
To a certain extent, I’m pretty good at that, but weirdly only within the context of structure.
I get really frustrated with some of the realities of life because even though I often intellectually know why people do the things they do, it still frustrates me to no end that they can’t see they’re acting in a manner that makes no sense and is going to be harder for them in the long run.
A part of me knows that how other people behave isn’t really my business, it’s my job to control how I behave but OH MY GOD IT IS SO FRUSTRATING, WHY?!
Like, why do I have explain to some dude that the fact his opening conversation with me is about how important sex is to him makes me uncomfortable. WHY DOES HE THINK THAT’S OK AND WHY DOES HE THINK I HAVE TO EXPLAIN SHIT?!
If I tell Person that I need them to do Task A in order to complete Task B, why the hell do they think it’s O.K. to totally ignore Task A and then act like it’s my responsibility to remind them to do the thing I asked them to do?
If I’m loaded up with heavy objects walking through a mall, unable to easily change my path, and a girl carrying nothing weaves a crooked path through the crowd, why the hell does she think it’s OK to tell me to watch where I’M going when she gets hit by the case of soda I was carrying? You walked into me and frankly with your attitude, I wish I’d hit you on purpose and harder. Do you yell at walls when you walk into them?
I think, largely, I’m irritated with the lack of accountability I run into sometimes.
I’m guilty of it too, no one likes to be wrong, but I firmly believe it’s each and every person’s responsibility to own their shit.
Owning your shit isn’t always fair because some of us have more of it than others, but the cold hard truth is that if you don’t, it’s only going to bite you in the ass in the end.
There’s a line I love from a Neko Case song, though maybe it’s a cover, anyway…the line goes: “There was no hollow promise that life would reward you.”
I love that line.
I love it because there’s no sense of entitlement there.
There are some things I think we should all be entitled to, access to medical care, access to education, a safe environment, etc. , but beyond that I think and try to remember that the world does not owe us anything.
Some people might find that depressing, I find it kind of inspirational.
It’s a reason to strive for things and to change as a person.
I try really hard to remember that Life doesn’t owe me anything and that I am not entitled to asking for unreasonable things from Life or from people around me. I have certain duties in life and it is my responsibility to fulfill them. Sometimes I will, and do, fail and that’s OK but only if I own those failures. You can’t make excuses for your failures all the time because you’ll learn nothing from them.
I think maybe somewhere along the way we all, meaning my peers on an socio-economic level and above, got so comfortable that we forgot we aren’t entitled to the things we have.
I remember being mortified and bewildered in University by some of my classmates because they drank and partied to the point where their grades were failing and while I had fun myself, school always came first. I knew how expensive my education was, I knew how lucky I was to be there, and I couldn’t understand how any of my peers could piss all over the opportunity they had. Most of the kids who acted the way I described had parents who could afford their mistakes a lot more easily than mine could.
Now, there are certain things I think I and every person is entitled to, like I said and one of them has to do with the owning-your-shit stuff I said earlier.
I, you, and all of us are entitled to be heard. Not just listened to, HEARD.
Being heard doesn’t mean you have to agree with me, but it does mean you have to actually listen and think about what I said and then respond to it somehow. Too often people get caught up in hearing themselves talk or thinking of what they’re going to do or say next to the point where they don’t actually HEAR people.
It isn’t always and easy thing to do, but important things are rarely easy.
Anyway, I apologize for the rant. I’m just tired and frustrated lately.
I must be getting old.
Posted on April 15, 2016, in Serious Life Stuff and tagged appreciate what you have, be an adult, Don't be an Asshat, entitlement, no one owes you anything, own your shit. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.