Fine, I’ll Eat Vegetables

I’ve been trying to get more vegetables into my diet lately.

Partly because I want to be healthy but mostly just because I don’t really know what to do with them beyond don’t cook them or shove them in pasta or a stir fry and that makes me feel stupid and I can’t have that.

So, this weekend, I set about finding different recipes for vegetables I don’t normally eat in ways I wouldn’t have normally thought to prepare them.

This week, I tried Parsnip Patties.

I like root vegetables and I also like how cheap they normally are, so I figured this would be a good starting point.

The recipe I used is from Kittencal@recipezazz at the aptly named website, You can find it here OR if you’re lazy, I’ve written it out below this sentence (YOU’RE WELCOME) with my own flourish:

Parsnip Patties


  • 2 small parsnips, peeled (if you feel like wasting your time) and grated ( this should yield about 1-1/2 cups)
  • 1 small red bell pepper, finely chopped (or grated if you just feel like grating)
  • 1 small onion, finely chopped (you could also grate this. Everything’s grate!)
  • 1 large egg (don’t grate this)
  • 1 tablespoon fresh minced garlic(optional or omit it if you hate flavour)
  • 1teaspoon dried dill (optional for people who hate deliciousness)
  • 1 pinch teaspoon cayenne pepper (or more)
  • 2 -4tablespoons grated parmesan cheese (or that stuff from a can, no judgement)
  • 3 tablespoons milk (or use half and half or water)
  • 1cup flour (more if needed, you probably won’t need more)
  • 12-1 teaspoon seasoning salt (I used sea salt because I can’t read, but it was fine)
  • ground black pepper (to taste unless you can’t find the fecking pepper and give up looking)
  • 14cup vegetable oil (or whatever kind of oil you want as needed, I used WAY less than they’re calling for)


  1. In a medium bowl, beat the egg. Show the egg you are superior.
  2. Stir in milk or whatever liquid you decided on.
  3. Add in the flour; mix until well combined.
  4. Add in the grated parsnips, red bell pepper, onion, the garlic, the Parmesan, and the dried dill.
  5. Season with salt and pepper (and/or cayenne pepper).
  6. Form into 4 patties or just divide into four in the bowl and spoon it on to the skillet and smush them down. Or cook it as a hash instead of patties if you want, I don’t care. I’m not your Mum.
  7. In a skillet, fry the patties over med-low heat, until golden brown on the outside, and cooked through.

The only thing about this recipe I didn’t like during the cooking process is the vagueness of the cooking time: “In a skillet, fry the patties over med-low heat, until golden brown on the outside, and cooked through.”

First off, medium heat on my stove is the equivalent of the surface of the sun for some reason- so I end up having to guesstimate what constitutes medium-low on my stove top because where you’d think is medium-low is actually more like true medium but if you go any lower, then you risk aging and watching the centuries pass you by as you wait for your food to cook.

Secondly, when you’ve got that kind of heat issue…well. It can be golden brown town on the outside but Elsa’s ice castle on the inside. How do I tell if it’s cooked through? It’s a veggie patty. It’s not like I can cut it open and see if it’s still pink inside. It’s also all grated, so sticking a fork in doesn’t really tell me if it’s tender or not.

Thankfully, I managed to cook them by the tried and true method of “Ehn, I think this is fine, if not I’ll just microwave it” and it turned out they were cooked and everything was fine.



I ate two and am desperately trying to resist eating the other two so I can save them for lunch.

These things taste like garlic filled DILLiciousness and (given how much cayenne pepper I used) are spicy enough to hurt you in the good way.

I am 100% going to make this again.

I feel like if I’m going to post the occasional recipe I should have a rating system…

I chose to rate this the way I measure how good most things are: with Bowie.

This dish gets 4 out of 5 Bowies.



Posted on July 20, 2016, in Random Life Stuff and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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